Stages of Grief
by snowlace
Summary: Rangiku's grieving process involves bubble bathes and red bean paste. Ran-centric. Orihime/Rangiku friendship. Implied Gin/Rangiku. Mentions of Hitsugaya. Spoilers for chapter 416.


**AN:** I just really needed to get this off my chest after the recent chapter. To say that I'm heartbroken would be an understatement (although I'm secretly hoping beyond hope that he's still alive or that Orihime can bring him back ;_;). **Spoilers for chapter 416.**

* * *

**Stages of Grief**

_"Ne, Ran-chan?"_

_"I've decided to become a shinigami. I'll become a shinigami and change things so that they'll end without Rangiku having to cry." _

_

* * *

_

A heavy sigh escapes Rangiku as she sinks into the scalding hot water of the bath. She slumps back, allowing the water to lap at her shoulders. Her eyes are shut tight as she attempts to steady her breathing and her shaking hands. Three days. It's been three days.

Part of her had always thought that the world would end, that _her_ world would end. And yet she's still here despite the fact that _he_ isn't. Time is still moving forward regardless of the lack of activity on Rangiku's part.

Orihime's apartment has become like a hideaway, a sanctuary. It's a silent dwelling place where no questions are asked and the only sounds audible are the soft little footsteps of Orihime walking on eggshells around her. Rangiku doesn't say anything but she hopes the weak smiles she gives Orihime are conveying at least a fraction of her gratitude for the silent support and understanding.

She knows she can't do this forever. She has to leave soon, has to head back to Soul Society where everyone is regrouping and preparing to seek out the indestructible villain once again. Kurosaki has wounded him enough to drive him away but only a fool would think it appropriate to relax at this point. She's needed there. She's a vice captain for crying out loud! There are people counting on her to do her job. And yet nobody has said a thing.

Rangiku remembers how uncharacteristically slack her captain had been. He had reached up, placing his hand on her shoulder with a weary look in his eyes that seemed far beyond his years. He had told her to take care of herself. Told her to take her time like he knew exactly what was going through her head, knew all about the ringing in her ears and the empty space in her chest. She had kept him more or less in the dark all of these years about the importance of _that _man and yet he had still known somehow. Hitsugaya had hated him but he had remained stoic and respectful at his death. The way he had bowed his head and gazed sadly at his vice captain held none of the bitterness and hatred of pent up years.

And it's all too much really. She doesn't want those sad looks, doesn't want the pity of her comrades reminding her of what she's lost. She doesn't want to talk about it. Not yet anyway.

Rangiku sighs once more and reaches for the fluffy cloth that Orihime has laid out for her. She runs it under the water again, turning the knob so that the temperature is as hot as possible. Still not hot enough as her skin screams in protest, now a rosy pink shade. By now she's pretty certain that her half-hearted notion of boiling herself like a lobster in Orihime's bathtub is an impossibility.

A soft, hesitant knock sounds at the door, pulling Rangiku out of her silly musings.

"Rangiku-san? Are you alright?" Orihime calls out, "you've been in there a pretty long time now...umm."

Silence. And then the splish-splash of Rangiku rising from the tub. Her feet pad across the cold tiles and she reaches for the towel to wrap it around herself.

Orihime lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding, "dinner's ready by the way!" Her voice perks up significantly as she proceeds to inform her guest of the exciting meal she has prepared. Rangiku can't help the little quirk of her lips as she slides the door open to meet her cheerful friend.

"Red bean paste and noodles again?" Rangiku smiles, "you really do spoil me Orihime!"

Orihime beams, skipping along into the kitchen to finish her meal. Rangiku hears Orihime humming quietly under her breath before she heads into the guest bedroom to pull on a robe. She looks down at her hands. They aren't shaking anymore.


End file.
